Quotes Dogs of War
|"Issa stupido to builda a wall iffa you ain' agonna hide behind it."|
+++ «A Treatise for Deliverance of Cities» by Giovanni Marmalodi +++
|"Whena you are defending a castillo, retreat issa not a worda you canna use. You still gotta capitulation, surrenda, submitta, yield, crappa da pantsa, be a doormat, wava the white flag..."|
+++ Marmalodi: Ibid, p525-579 and appendix I +++
|"Assa the leading experta onna da siege warfare, I am often asked, how canna we maka da gates so thata, they can't be broken by the batteringa-rams and the bigga giants with the tree branches. I say to them, ey stupido, you cann'ta stoppa dem lika dat. Watta you gotta do is maka the gates so small that they can'ta be hit by the big balls and the trees and things. You maka da gates so they only four foota high, howa a gianta going to get his 'ead through? Smarta thinking, eh? But you heara complaints alla de time. The people can'ta get througha gates, they say, anda we donta have a siege all de time. You can'ta helpa some people." |
+++ Marmalodi: Ibid, p509
|"It issa mucha disputed as to what are da besta weapons fora making de siege. You gotta de stona throwers anna de bolt throwers, anna alla kinda cannons. Gunpowder is a greata invention. Iffa you can getta holda of a few mortars or bombards, you canna make de big holes in de walls. But you gotta have de right ammunition. So a stona thrower canna be justa as good. For ammunition, you can digga uppa de rocks 'an de stones, our use de big balls, or you can shoot dayd peoples over the wall to make the place stink. You canna even maka de spaghetti and shoota dat, or de razor-edged pizza."|
+++ Marmalodi: Ibid, p822 +++
|"You can'ta just ignore a castillo. De men insida might be naughty fellows and attacka you once you marcha by. De smarta-alek words for dis is dat dey remain a treat to communications. Dis is right. Anda iffa you don't get the letters from home, howa you gonna know how your mama is?"|
+++ «A Treatise for Deliverance of Cities» by Giovanni Marmalodi, p109 +++
|"There issa nothing lika da siege for da true spirit of war! When I sit inna the camp, watching the enginesa shooting de great big rocks at the walls, and smashing de place up, itta warmsa my heart. You canna keppa your battls and all that noisy cavalry boom-boom stuff. Give me a ballista and plenty of distance, and I show you howa a real manna fights!" |
+++ Marmalodi: Ibid, p509 +++
|"I canna tell you that it wassa me who invented one of the foremosta techniques used inna siege warfara. Back a few yearsa back we hadda war agaynst a city just along the coast. They wera very naughty fellows, and tried to make ussa pay sixteen taxes to use the road through their town, when alla civiliseda world only makes people pay ten. |
So we wenta to their city and we maka de attack. But no good. So, being sensible good fellows as well as de heroesa, we maka de camp and starta de siege. Betweena de syesta anna de tea brayk - every other day - we maka de great attack against the walls for halfa hour or more and we getta de big guns to go boom-boom agaynst de walls. But stilla dey don'ta listen to de reason.
So the Kinga said to me, Marmalodi, grayt chap and close friend who issa gonna get de medals bya de 'atlot on account offa being so brave, Marmalodi he said, how we gonna get inside the city with nobody get hurt, least of all me? Well, I tella him, the trouble is that each time we marcha uppa to de walls, dose naughty boys dey droppa de rocks on our 'eads and make with de shooting of de arrows. We needa to sneak up on dem a little bit. If we digga de mine, we canna go right under de walls and come up in a nica little restaurant whicha ain't to dear.
So, we starta da mine. But de men dey say de dirt maka de uniforms all mucky and deyre mothers dey no thinka dey grayt soldiers in da war lika dat 'ero Marmalodi. So we haveta maka de mine notta so deep and withouta de top. You mighta calla it a trench. But, we still dig towardsa de walls.
Something go a little wronga witha de direction a bit, an' we end up missing the town a bit, so I maka de corrections and offa we go again. But we missa de walls agayn. Well, thisa went on for few days, and we zigged and zagged until we reached de walls. And whaddaya know, because the trench she no strayt, the enemy in the town coulda not see inna de trench and maka de arrows. So they give up, anda nobody get hurt. Marmalodi say de King. De trench she no strayt. You are a sappa, he say. So, nowa you know. So, dis is how de sappers get started."
+++ Marmalodi: Ibid, p1248 +++
|"Yes my son, Tilea is where you must go!' my father said, 'For from the city of Miragliano, the famous freebooter El Cadavo sets sail this very week upon a voyage to the west, to win new kingdoms and explore lands no man visited before. Flee Fleugweiner, my boy, before the Knights of the White Wolf discover what you have done this day and bring shame upon us all!"|